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Overview
Transcript
Gallery
(The episode begins one day outside Jon’s house. Inside, Jon is jogging in place in front of a mirror in his bedroom, listening to music with earbuds. He heads downstairs and starts circling the table. Garfield is watching TV on his chair)
Jon: Garfield, you agreed we’d exercise every afternoon. (He stops in front of Garfield, jogging in place)
Garfield: Yawn! I must’ve been delirious from lack of pie or something.
Jon: Let’s go jogging. It’s time for physical activity! (He picks Garfield up)
Garfield: (pointing) Here’s my idea of physical activity! (He drops himself to the floor) Grunt! (He forcefully shoves Jon out the front door)
Jon: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Garfield: Scowl!
Jon: Pants (He jogs up the sidewalk) I’ll let you off now, but later, we’re going jogging! (He crashes into a garbage can off-screen, sending the lid flying into view) Oof! (He is dazed. Garfield returns inside, slamming the door behind him)
Garfield: I’m missing my favorite game show, Million Dollar Name That Fish! (He is stopped abruptly by Odie, who is holding a stick in his mouth)
Odie: Bark!
Garfield: Doh!
Odie: Pants Bark?
Garfield: (annoyed) No, I will not throw the stick (He points at the pooch) so you can go fetch it. (He opens the door and yeets Odie out of it)
Odie: AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (The tabby appears in the doorway)
Garfield: I have to go watch Million Dollar Name That Fish! (He closes the door. Odie lands on a jogging Jon across the street)
Jon: Oof! Moan…
Odie: Huh?
(Back inside, Garfield dusts his paws off, thinking he’s free from distractions, but the worst one of them all appears in front of him)
Nermal: Hey, Garfield! (Once again, Garfield stops in his tracks, surprised)
Garfield: Gasp! Sigh…
Nermal: Time for the meeting! (He raises his finger)
Garfield: Meeting? What meeting?
Nermal: The meeting of the International (He grabs Garfield’s paw and walks him toward the living room) Nermal Fan Club! (They stop when they reach the living room, where a large podium with a microphone and two chairs sit) You promised me that if I left you alone for an entire week, you’d come to the meeting! (His eyes get big) Purr.
Garfield: Ugh… (He walks up to the chairs. Nermal takes his stand at the podium) Who’s the president of this club?
Nermal: I am. (He points at himself. Garfield stands between the chairs, grabbing them)
Garfield: Who’s the vice president of this club?
Nermal: I am.
Garfield: How many members do you have? (His eyes narrow and he points at him)
Nermal: Just me. Ah… (Evidently no one else is a fan of Nermal, and neither is Garfield, as he gives Nermal the Odie Treatment and swiftly launches him out the back door) AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (The podium and chairs follow, all landing with a crash)
Garfield: Meow! (He slams the back door, sick of the distractions) On days like this I wish I could be in about eight places at the same time. (He returns to his chair, his frustration fading as his favorite show comes on, hosted by Chuck Yenta)
Chuck Yenta: Good afternoon, and welcome to TV’s top game show, Million Dollar Name That Fish! (He points vaguely to his left) On today’s show… (He is interrupted by a newscast about Professor Bonkers)
Anchorwoman: We interrupt Million Dollar Name That Fish for this breaking news story. (Garfield clutches the arms of his chair)
Garfield: What could be more important than Million Dollar Name That Fish? (He looks at the viewers)
Anchorwoman: We have reports that Dr. Thaddeus Bonkers (On cue, Professor Bonkers leaves from a door behind her. He looks suddenly nervous upon seeing the TV camera and tries to sneak away) has perfected a device that will enable him to clone or otherwise perfectly duplicate another person. (She notices the scientist) Oh, here’s Dr. Bonkers now. (Garfield blankly stares at the TV, not caring in the slightest) Dr. Bonkers, is there any truth to the rumor that you are cloning people? (Garfield taps his fingers on the arm of his chair. Bonkers walks away from the newscaster, who is following)
Professor Bonkers: What?! Absolutely not! That rumor is absurd!
Anchorwoman: Well there you have it, straight from the source. (Bonkers stops)
Professor Bonkers: Cloning people? (As he says this, another Professor Bonkers walks out of the door in the background) Ridiculous idea.
Garfield: (shocked) Wha-? (Suddenly, his attention has been grabbed. Two Professor Bonkerses stand on either side of the anchorwoman, one of them looking quite nervous)
Anchorwoman: And now we know. Dr. Bonkers is NOT using cloning technology to create duplicate human beings. (The nervous-looking Bonkers steps back and poorly hides himself behind a vase of pink roses)
Professor Bonkers: Where do people come up with such things? (The other Bonkers shuffles away)
Anchorwoman: We now return you to Million Dollar Name That Fish. (Garfield hops off his chair and ponders)
Garfield: Gee, it’d be nice to have a clone or two of myself around. I could go jogging with Jon AND stay home and watch TV! I could send myself out for sandwiches! I could… Heh… I could look into this. (He smiles, an idea brewing in his mind)
(Later, he is at Professor Bonkers’s laboratory)
Professor Bonkers: If you are here to ask about my cloning ray, puss*cat, you’re wasting your time. (He walks away. Throughout the room there are several other clones of himself doing various things like inspecting a neon-green liquid in a beaker and discussing with each other) I do not want the public to know about it until it’s perfected! (He stops in front of his duplicating ray and gives another clone of his a thumbs-up. Garfield watches as the clone presses a button, starting up the machine. A giant DNA double-helix spins and a beam of light scans Professor Bonkers. Another ray creates an exact replica of him, and the other professors clap)
Professor Bonkerses: Applause
Garfield: (stunned) YAAHHHH!
Professor Bonkers: I have to go. The mad scientist league is having a baseball game tonight.
Professor Bonkers: I am the entire starting lineup! (The entire group of scientist clones leaves. Garfield, however, sees the opportunity before him)
Garfield: Oh my! (He clasps his paws together) He left the cloning ray completely unguarded! (He addresses the viewer) It would be wrong of me to borrow it, take it home and make duplicates of myself. (He leaves, but then returns to do exactly what he just said, pausing to address the audience once more) If anyone asks, tell them my evil clone took it. (He rolls his “Get out of everything free” card down the sidewalk, unaware of the hill in front of him until he starts rolling down it at a high speed) Oh, no! Stop! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He rolls past a man, who spins in place and falls on his rear. He skids off a light pole) YAAAAAAHHHHH! (He rolls into the street) WHOAAAAAA! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (A car had to do a wheelie to avoid him. He jumps onto the barrel of the machine, digging his claws into it) WHOAAAAAAAAA! YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Eventually, he loses speed and slowly rolls up his street) Whimpers (He stops his wild ride in front of his house, where the garage is standing wide open) Pants (He hops off the machine and wheels it in) Ha! Sigh (He peeks in the door connecting the garage and hallway. Jon descends the stairs and spots him)
Jon: (raising his finger) No excuses, Garfield! We’re going out jogging! NOW!
Garfield: (raising his finger) Sure, just give me a second. (He closes the door, hits a few keys on the machine’s keyboard and stands in front of it. Instantly, a clone of himself is formed. The clone looks at the original, and then tries to balance, as if walking for the first time) Snickers
Jon: Garfield? (The clone is shoved out in front of Jon. He points up) I hope you’re ready to run now. (The clone’s smile fades. Jon takes him out running down the street, holding his paw, while the real Garfield watches from the garage) Ready for the 50-mile hike?
Garfield: Now, (He points his finger up) maybe I can watch TV and… (He races toward his chair, but Odie stops him once more, wagging his tail and begging for some quality time with his best friend. Or at least, a stick to fetch)
Odie: Whiny muttering Pants
Garfield: (pointing up) One moment, please. (He returns to the garage, makes another clone, and shoves him in front of Odie. He raises his paw to his mouth, making it seem like his voice is coming from his copy) C’mon, boy! I’ll throw the stick and you fetch it. (Odie doesn’t question it. He simply drops the stick onto his feet)
Odie: Pants (Garfield’s doppelganger opens the door and chucks the stick Odie excitedly fetches it) Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (Garfield shoves his clone outside and slams the door behind him before the clone can get a word in. After Odie returned with the stick, Garfield made another clone and led him outside to deal with Nermal)
Garfield’s Clone: I’ll go find Nermal while you watch TV.
Garfield: Snickers (He stops while the other continues toward the backyard) Why thanks, handsome. (He hops into his chair as his show starts) Gasp! Scowl!
(Outside, Nermal is sitting on the birdbath, crying)
Nermal: Cries What good is having a fan club if I don’t have any fans? (Garfield’s clone walks up behind him)
Garfield’s Clone: Hey, Nermal, (He waves. Nermal turns around) where's the meeting?
Nermal: The meeting?
Garfield’s Clone: (pointing) Of your fan club!
Nermal: Gasp! (He zips to the edge facing the clone) I actually have a member for the (He hops) International Nermal Fan Club! Awesome!
(Back inside, Garfield is watching his favorite game show, Million Dollar Name That Fish hosted by Chuck Yenta. The cat’s paws are behind his head)
Garfield: Oh, this is great! I don’t have to do anything. My clones do it for me.
Chuck Yenta: Now, Mrs. Bonnie Lou Wonderburger of East Moline, Illinois, for $1,000,000 and a jar or tartar sauce, name that fish! (He holds up a glass fishbowl with a fish in it)
Bonnie Lou Wonderburger: (raising her finger) Uh, halibut? Oh no, wait, it’s not a halibut. Cod? (Garfield glances over his shoulder at the viewers)
Garfield: It’s a mackerel!
Bonnie Lou Wonderburger: Tuna? Uh no, salmon. Sturgeon! Uh, perch? (Garfield’s blood starts to boil, and he leans forward in his seat)
Garfield: (pointing) Mackerel! Just say mackerel!
(Meanwhile, Jon is jogging with what he thinks is his cat. The duplicate lags behind, exhausted from the jog)
Garfield’s Clone: Pants
Jon: Isn’t it a great day for running, Garfield?
Garfield’s Clone: Pants There are no great days for running! Pants (They run right past Odie and another clone in the front yard without even noticing them. Odie is returning the stick)
Odie: Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (He skids to a stop in front of the cat) BarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBarkBark! Bark! (He drops the stick, and the clone throws it) Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! (It is fetched, returned, and thrown again)
Garfield’s Clone: Oh boy… (As Odie is getting the stick once more, Garfield’s clone seems to have snapped. He runs down the street, unable to take any more) Pants YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Odie: Huh? (He starts chasing him)
(In the backyard, Nermal stands at his podium, speaking into a microphone, with another clone sitting in front of him)
Nermal: Would someone like to propose that today, and every day, be declared Nermal Cat Day?
Garfield’s Clone: (flatly) So moved. (He raises and lowers his paw)
Nermal: It has been moved! (He points) Is there a second?
Garfield’s Clone: (flatly) I second. (He raises and lowers both paws. Nermal hops onto his podium)
Nermal: It has been moved and seconded! All in favor say, “Aye!” (The clone glances at the audience from their position over his shoulder)
Garfield’s Clone: (shaking his head) Aye-yi-yi.
Nermal: The “Ayes” have it! Now, would someone like to propose that I be on a stamp?
Garfield’s Clone: (angrily) Meow! (He clenches his fists, scowls, and then facepalms, completely fed up)
(Inside, Garfield is still watching his show)
Chuck Yenta: I’m sorry, Ms. Wonderburger, (Garfield waves his paw at the screen) but you didn’t name that fish,
Garfield: (angrily) Meow!
Chuck Yenta: (continuing) win the million dollars or that jar of tartar sauce!
Garfield: (angrily) Oooh!
Bonnie Lou Wonderburger: (disappointed) Oh! I wanted that tartar sauce.
Garfield: (shouting) Shoulda said, “Mackerel!” (The doorbell rings, and his anger quickly fades to excitement) Oh, (He points over his shoulder) maybe that’s the pizza I ordered. Wait ‘til you see what I thought of. (He answers the door. Vito is outside with a pizza in hand)
Vito: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat.
Garfield: (raising his finger) One moment, please. (He returns inside and rolls the cloning machine behind Vito. He points it at the chef, who is now looking inside for him, and presses a button) Snickers (Vito is scanned. Unknowing of where Garfield is, Vito sets the pizza down and leaves. As he does, Garfield makes a clone of him, complete with a pizza)
Vito’s Clone: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat. (He hands it to Garfield)
Garfield: Laughs (Another Vito clone is made)
Vito’s Clone: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat. (He hands it to Garfield, and the cycle repeats)
Garfield: Snickers
Vito’s Clone: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat. (On the other side of the street, Jon is jogging while Garfield’s copy is lagging behind)
Garfield’s Clone: Pants (He stops at a lightpost to catch his breath) I just realized, how come I have to do this and he gets to sit home and watch TV? How about if HE runs and I stay home and watch Name That Fish? (Jon turns around and sees him)
Jon: (while running back) Garfield, we aren’t finished with our jogging yet. (He stops and jogs in place)
(Nearby, Odie is bringing Garfield’s clone the stick, which the clone catches and throws for Odie to fetch. Odie grabs it and brings it back, which makes the clone snap)
Garfield’s Clone: No! No! I can’t take any more of this! HE can get out here and throw the stick! (He races back to the house, passing the army of Vitos. Odie follows)
Odie: Bark! (Jon struggles to pull Garfield’s copy along with him)
Jon: Strains
(In the backyard…)
Nermal: When I was a kitten, people said, “Well, he can’t get any cuter than that.” (The clone trembles, also about to snap) And look, I fooled ‘em.
Garfield’s Clone: (furiously) Oooooh! This must stop! (He grabs his head, wincing)
Nermal: But enough about me. Let’s talk about you, (He gestures to him) Garfield. What do you think are my most ADORABLE qualities? (Not your humility, that’s for sure. Garfield’s copy leaps out of the chair and flees, screaming)
Garfield’s Clone: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Nermal: Hey, you come back here! We didn’t vote to adjourn yet!
(In the front yard, Garfield is still using his infinite pizza hack: Create a clone of Vito, it hands him a pizza, repeat)
Vito’s Clone: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat.
Vito’s Clone: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat. (Garfield stops and scratches his head)
Garfield: (raising his finger) Maybe next, I’ll order Chinese food delivered. (A clone apprehends him and grabs him by the shoulders)
Garfield’s Clone: Alright, YOUR turn to jog with Jon, my turn to nap! (Another clone runs up)
Garfield’s Clone: You go throw the stick so the dog can fetch it! (Odie runs up. The clone tosses the stick away, which Odie fetches)
Vito’s Clones: (repeatedly) Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat. (The third clone of Garfield’s arrives and points at the original)
Garfield’s Clone: I’m not listening to Nermal another second! YOU gotta do it! (They turn around and look at the cloning machine)
Vito’s Clone: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat.
Garfield’s Clone: Well I’m gonna make my own clone. (He storms over to the machine)
Garfield’s Clone: No, I wanna make my clone! (He follows suit)
Garfield’s Clones: Overlapping chatter (They shake the machine, and one of them hops on top of it. The original Garfield also jumps on it, but they shake it so much it falls over and short-circuits. It launches a haywire beam, which hits Odie and makes two clones of him, stick and all)
Odie’s Clone: Ta-da!
Odie’s Clone: Ta-da! (Nermal sprints to the front yard as well, furious at Garfield for bailing)
Nermal: (madly) Oooooh! (He too gets zapped with an arrant beam, as well as each of Garfield’s clones and Jon)
Jon: What’s going on here? (He finally sees the Vito duplicates across the street)
Vito’s Clone: Here is the pizza you ordered, kitty cat. (Jon then sees Garfield and Nermal multiplied several times)
Nermal: (pointing) Garfield, you come back to my fan club meeting! I’m the cutest cat in the whole world! (Good news: Nermal has more members for his meeting, himself. Odie and his clones run up to Jon)
Odie and his clones: Barkbarkbark! Barkbarkbark! Bark! Bark! (Several copies of Jon run up as well)
Jon’s Clones: What’s going on here? (Jon faints out of shock. Professor Bonkers and his clones run up to stop the chaos)
Professor Bonkers and his clones: Stop! Everyone stop! (The cloner makes more clones of Garfield, Odie, Jon, Nermal, and Vito)
(Eventually, everyone and their duplicates, minus the original Vito, is gathered in Jon’s house)
Clones: Overlapping chatter (Inside, Jon is lying on his sofa, surrounded by the clones)
Professor Bonkers: My cloning ray was missing!
Professor Bonkers’s Clone: And I figured only the cat (He points at Garfield) could’ve taken it!
Professor Bonkers’s Clone: I see you were right. (Garfield looks down remorsefully)
Jon: My cat’s sorry, but Doctor, you’ve got to get rid of all these mes and hims, and…
Professor Bonkers: (raising his finger) Not to worry! As you can see, (He gestures to a clone of his, which shakes and turns green before disintegrating) clones disappear after a while.
Jon: Ah, so, all we have to do is wait and all the extras will disappear. What do we do in the meantime?
Garfield and his clones: We have an idea.
Garfield: An idea and enough pizzas.
(Cut to Chuck Yenta on the stage of Name That Fish)
Chuck Yenta: Now for $1,000,000 and a jar of tartar sauce, name that fish! (He pulls a fishbowl with a fish out from behind his back for the contestant to guess. The clones and originals comprise the studio audience)
Clones: Overlapping guesses and barks
Garfield: You know, except for pizza, you (He points at the viewer) can have an excess of anything in this world. (He raises his finger) You can even have too much of yourself. (He points at the audience, and three more clones pop up)
Garfield’s Clones: We agree! (Can’t argue with that. The original Garfield gives one final wink and the episode ends here)
THE END
